Big Daddy

Jackson and I flew home from MS on Thursday night. I called Big Daddy from the airport to check on him. He had open heart surgery on March 6th and was doing great! He went to the ER on Tuesday after the home health nurse said she thought he had fluid on his lungs. They admitted him on Wednesday morning. When I called him Thursday I said, “I swear…I leave and you fall apart.” He laughed and said, “you can’t find good help…get back home!” I asked him how he felt and he said “not worth a damn.” He was tired, no appetite and no energy. I told him I would be there first thing Friday morning and bring him his tshirts and underwear. 

That was the last thing I ever said to him. 

We were on the way to the hospital and we got a call that they he started with labored breathing around 5 that morning. They did a CT scan and found several blood clots. They were taking him to surgery. 

We were at the red light by the hospital and we got a call that he went into cardiac arrest and they did CPR to bring him back. They completed the surgery while we waited and had no idea what the outcome would be. 

They called us in a room…which is never a good sign. They basically said we don’t know how long he will live when we stop the heart and lunch machine. We had to make some tough choices, but the doctors were SO kind. They kept Big Daddy alive for 45 mins so Jackson could there and see him one last time. 

They wheeled him in the room and told us we could have a few minutes with him or it could be hours…they just were not sure but thought it would be quick. 

They cleaned him up the best they could and pulled the curtain to give us privacy. Mr. Jerry’s preacher was there with us and he read a verse and. prayed over him before he stepped out. 

The nurses told us that he could hear us. We all cried, told him how much we loved him, and how thankful we are for him…

And just like that….

He was gone. It was so peaceful I did not even know he passed. The nurse said, “he’s gone.” I told him he was still breathing, I did not realize the vent was still on. They turned it off and he took three breaths…let out a long sigh and saw Jesus. 

It was the most peaceful thing….better than I could have imagined. I pray I die that peacefully. The 3 of us were able to stay with him about 30 minutes. 

He was truly one of a kind. Jackson not only lost his grandfather, but his best friend. It has been hard. Grief is just never easy, but we are so thankful that we know he is with Jesus and we celebrate the fact that we wil be with him one day. Jackson wrote the most beautiful obituary for him and spoke at his service. Jerry would have been beaming! 

He had a hard life growing up. He could be grouchy and snippy, but I adored this man. He looked after me anytime I needed help or had a crisis. I could call him and he would help me in any way that he could. He sang “School Days” to me EVERY single year on the first day of school. He checked mouse traps for me, bought me things we could not afford, made the best boiled shrimp, fixed plumbing issues, and loved to call me “the most curious white woman he has ever met.” 

I am so thankful for God giving me Mr. Jerry as my father in law. He loved me, would argue with me, and then we would be best friends again. Complicated, but I would not have it any other way. 

Our lives are so different without him here now. We miss him terribly. There is so much change going on in addition to 2 major losses for our family this year. It truly reminds me how PRECIOUS life in. Live each day as if it could the last. If you have read this far, I would covet your prayers for our family as we continue to adjust to life without Big.